How I’m So Hot

I can’t help being hot. It’s not my fault people are jealous of me. I’m pretty and smart. Best of both worlds. And they think they can make fun of me because of my hotness.

Being Pretty

All of my brother’s friends and every other guy is always all over me. Why was I cursed with such good looks?

When People Thinks Marijuana Is Harmful when It’s Not

Marijuana is not bad pills us bad because people overdose on pills just like alcohol is worse alcohol makes people stupid if marijuana was legal crime rate will be low they'll be no crime no murder and no stupid people and people smoke weed people is calm and they get along with anyone else just look at Amsterdam they don't have a lot of crime and blame the DEA an Nixon the DEA takes marijuana away from us innocent people and smokes it.

Dogs and Gophers

Dogs are the most annoying creatures that have ever walked this planet. I get they’re man’s best friend, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t annoying. My dog always wants me to play with him when I’m doing homework! It’s unbelievably annoying. And he always digs up gophers, so I hate them for being slow and giving my dog another meaningless activity that interrupts my homework time.

Giraffes

I hate giraffes. Those smug bastards, always hogging the leaves at the top of the trees. They aren’t even real animals, just long horses!

Washing

Is there any point in washing? Let’s face it, we sweat all the time. If you walk, you sweat. If you run, you sweat. Even getting nervous makes you sweat. I’ve given up, so no more antiperspirant deodorant or after shave and no washing. Body odour smells lovely anyway.

Justin Bieber Haters

Come on! He’s really good! I know that you people have opinions, but don’t diss him. I’m on YouTube all the time watching him, and people leave hate comments. Don’t watch him if you hate him! And so what if he has a higher voice than most people? Leave him alone! He’s very talented! Beautiful brown eyes, perfect smile, wonderful voice. If you are too blind to see that, then you don’t know what music is!

Milk Chocolate

Who the blazes had the stupid idea to spoil chocolate by adding milk to it? I hate the very thought of that fatty, disgusting baby drink mixed in with my delicious cacao and sugar. Chocolate is supposed to be smooth and dark and bittersweet, not waxy and milky and missing all of that chocolaty bitterness.

Windows

Walls are there for a reason, to block us in. Why would anyone in their right mind want a hole in a wall? It’s so wrong.

Sex

I hate sex. Why would you want it? It plays a major part in reproduction, something that needs to be outlawed; it’s not comfortable to have the weight of another person attached to you; and there is no sensation received from it that you can’t get alone! Sex needs to be demonized and eventually outlawed.

I Hate All These Things

I hate these thing for reasons i will tell you: i hate abortion, gay marriage, the health care plan, and the U.N. Rights for children. Heres why, i hate abortion because you kill the baby thats inside of you and if you dont think its a human being you are so wrong because God made that babey. I hate gay marriage because God made the man and woman so that you can get married by a lawful catholiic priest and two witnesses and you cant get a divorce because in God’s eyes you are still married. Ok this U.N rights for children law hasnt been declared a law yet but what I know is for an example if a kid is playing video games and he is supppst to got to church he could take his parents to court and the parents could be put in jail. And if a kid or parent tjinks thats ok you are wrong. Here is why, because in the ten commanments God says in the fourth commandment to honor your father and mother! That means to obey your parents kids. And parents you are going to have to be big meanies to your sons and daughters because if your not tjey will just grow up spoiled and tell you what to do and when they are adults they think everything will just happen and they will have a good life. Although the government is helping poor people ehich i dont really like because they should have srudied and worked hard so it was thier fault.

Justin Bieber Haters

You don’t really hate him. You just say that to make yourself look “cool”. Justin Bieber has more musical talent than any other person I know. And I bet you won’t like this just so you can be a J Bieb fake hater.

Stuffed Animals

They’re so annoying! I don’t understand why 17 year olds have them in their rooms. They’re childish, they’re pretty creepy, and they’re way too unrealistic. What do you think your two year old is learning when you give them a talking stuffed animal? I understand that they’re for easily amused children, but I’ve never liked them.

Happiness

I hate being happy. It makes me feel weird inside.

“Mum”

Why do people type “mum”? You seriously call your mom your mum? What the heck, it’s pronounced mom. Can’t you speak English? If you can’t go back to where you came from.

People Who Think Things Are Sports

Hockey, soccer, football, and baseball. That’s it! Just because something like gymnastics is difficult and takes strength does not make it a sport.

My Best Friend

I love you and I always will, but I have a boyfriend now and I love spending my time with him. Sorry, you’re becoming more and more boring every time I hang out with you, and with him I have a special bond and he always keeps it exciting. You piss me off so much. I love him. Deal with it.

Christmas

What’s the point? Everyone gets worked up for half a year about a twenty four hour period where they get presents. Grow up, world!

When ppl say im ghetto!!

Ok i aint ghetto im juss strate up n lound wen its needed!! I can be loud af! Buh i do it for fun i juss aint a borin as person!

People That Get All in Your Case for Coming to Class Baked

Come on people, lighten up. There’s nothing wrong with a little high to get you through a Monday.

People Who Think Marijuana Is Bad

Yes, marijuana is a drug. But it’s not like any other drug. You can’t overdose on it and you can’t die from it either. I smoke marijuana at least three times a week. I’m not addicted. I can quit. I have. I get straight As in all of my classes, I don’t drink and I have never gotten arrested. If marijuana is so bad, then why is it legal in a few states? It’s better than alcohol because when you're high, you tend to think, rather than being drunk and unthinking. So next time you have something bad to say about it, do a little bit of research first.

Girls Saying Dude

Why can’t girls just say “y’all” or “everybody”? Not dudes. It sounds like you’re a gangster or trying to be cool. Wow, that annoys me.

Texas

OMG, I hate people from Texas. Their accents are so annoying! They won’t stop talking, and even worse Bush is from Texas! OMG, idiots, just shut up… I’m an American and I’m sorry America but go Scotland and Britain.

Boys

They’re all sexist rapists.

Religion

It’s a waste of time. Why waste useful money on stupid churches? It angers me. Then you pray to the air. There is no god. We are alone in this world. So stop being crazy and wasting your time.

Justin Bieber Haters

Okay, you all know them. Whenever the name “Justin” comes up they have to start randomly crying that he hasn’t hit puberty and that he can’t sing. SHUT UP! If I didn’t ask for your opinion on him then just go sit in your corner. The kid is way more successful than you and he didn’t get there magically. Therefore, Justin is a great singer and if you don’t have something nice to say then keep it to yourself!

Correct Punctuation

Must I put a space between every single word?

People Who Think All Cheaters Are Bad People

Did you ever think maybe we had a good reason to it?

White Bread

It’s so nasty. It has no flavor and has a texture that is like foam to me. I hate crust, too. Bread is just gross!

Clothes That Are Out of Style

Please get with the style! Add your own flavor to it, of course, but if you’re still wearing plaid and flannel shirts, you need to be updated! Just get with the program, please!

Snow

Since I’ve grown up, got a job and learned to drive, I come to hate the snow. It’s a complete inconvenience. Cold, wet, slushy and icy weather—I can’t think of anything worse.

People who use British words

There stupid and don’t make sense. Just speak American.

Pickles

They’re like pimply cucumbers! And they’re disgustingly salty and sour.

Justin Bieber Haters

Yeah, Justin Bieber has a high pitched voice. No, he isn’t gay. His voice is trained to stay that high. Everyone has their own opinions. I like him. That doesn’t give you a right to cut me down. If you really didn’t like him you wouldn’t try to make such a big deal about how much you hate him.

Justin Bieber Haters

So what if you think he looks and sings like a girl? Some people actually like him, so shut up and respect other people’s opinions. And he isn’t gay if he is dating Selena Gomez, obviously. Every day in my math class, I have to sit through rude comments like “Justin Bieber is gay!” and “Justin Bieber sux!” People tell me the only reason I like him is because I’m a lesbian, which I certainly am not! I have been bullied before this, but because of all of you people, I’m bullied even more, and have had thoughts of suicide. It’s not as funny as you might think it is, so get a life and stop tormenting him and his fans.

When People Always Follow Me

When boys follow me, they always catch me and chase me. It’s because people kept saying I look lovelier every day.

Jesus… and Mary

For those who believe in Jesus, just because he did something good doesn’t mean he’s a god or whatever…. Obama or Anne Frank won’t become gods because they did something good. Religious was just a scam in the old days so people would pay dues to the church so they could live lavishly. Brush up on history. And the Virgin Mary? She had a baby! Obviously she’s not a virgin. She probably honestly got drunk or something and didn’t remember in the morning.

Spongebob

Time for you to retire.

People Who Hate Smokers

You should love smokers! They pay loads of tax to the government then die early so the government don’t have to pay them pension! Personally, that’s enough for me to give up. But smokers can’t, ’cause they’re addicted.

“Moo”

Sometimes I text my friend “moo” because it’s like my favorite word. Then she texts me “mooooooo!” And then it’s just this whole big “moo” fight and it ends up as “Mooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooooooo” “Mooooooooooooo” “Moooooo!!!!!!!!” I gotta admit, it’s really, really fun!

Christians

They are possibly the most ignorant people on the planet. I’m so sick of hearing their blind, stupid, zealous blabbing.

Polite Boys

I get it, you want to be impressive. It’s good for you to be a gentleman. Open my door? Yes. Pay for the date? Yes, please. But when it comes time to take my shirt off, don’t let your hands shake too much. Don’t tell me how nervous you are, or how pretty you think I am. Actually, don’t talk at all. Just do it, please.

Gringos

I hate people that only speak English and don’t know Spanish, especially if they live in Miami. It’s a very Latin area and these people are always lost, ’cause they can’t find Calle Ocho.

When People Spell “Colors” Wrong

I can’t stand when people spell the world colors like “colours.” I know it makes sense to have a “u” in there, but there isn’t one.

Foxes

I think everyone is wrong about foxes. They aren’t cute, they’re really scary and have scary eyes and scary faces and scary tails and big teeth and ginger fur. Just like mini ginger wolves that might turn up in your garden.

Atheism

I don’t know how people can interpret empirical data as evolutionary evidence. If you don’t believe in God, remember, he believes in you.

People Who Suck at Sports

I’m not gonna tell you “good job”! You’re in middle school now! You should be able to throw a ball six feet and make base in kickball!

Idolatry

I hate the fact that SOME people will worship a cow or dog. There is one true God. He will rise again to judge the living and the dead.

“Pretty”

I hate the word “pretty”. It is too girly and six-year-old for my taste.

People Who Say FML to Every­thing

When people constantly say FML, they don’t realize how precious their life is compared to people elsewhere. This especially infuriates me when it is about something small such as running out of snacks or doing poorly on a quiz. Honestly, if you really think your life is that bad, believe me, there is always someone worse off.