Things That I Hate

One-Uppers

I just can’t express the hate that I carry for these people. You tell them a story about something you’ve done, and they immediately tell you about how they did almost the same thing, only when they did it, it was 75,000 times more awesome than you can imagine. There is no way that your grandfather contracted malaria while fighting for peace in Africa. There is also no way that it was magically cured when he got struck by lightning. The second time. While he was inventing cold fusion. I find myself just making up the most outlandish stories that I can think of to see what they come up with in response. I can’t imagine how they’d expect me to believe them. There was a guy that I worked with that made up so many of these stories I finally just asked him how he found the time to accomplish all these amazing feats. Needless to say I was shocked when he didn’t claim to have invented a means of non-linear time travel. Luckily he got fired for incompetence. Looks like I one-upped him on that one.

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