Goblins

First of all, nobody can tell me what a goblin even is. I’m sick of hyper-fantastical authors trying to make goblins something special. Who cares? Any other creature of myth seems like it could make a goblin look like a teacup, so why bother? Why is there a bottom rung on the ladder of mythical creatures? Anyway, if I ever see a goblin I swear I’ll kick it in the face and explain why he and his whole race are a bunch of no-good gold-snatchers.

I swear I’m not racist against goblins. They just don’t make sense to me.