Things That I Hate

“My bicycle gets infinite miles per gallon!”

Oh, really? Do you fill your bicycle with a gallon of gas and it just goes forever? I’m betting not. Bicycles don’t run on gasoline (obviously), they’re human powered, and humans don’t run on gasoline either (also, obviously). Just as the bicycle gets its energy from you, you get yours from food. Food is farmed. Farms tend to use giant diesel-powered machines to collect crops and move livestock. Slaughterhouses and processing facilities use electricity that comes from coal and nuclear power plants. Then more diesel trucks deliver all this processed food to Walmart. Walmart uses electricity to keep everything fresh and so that you can see what you're buying. Then you pedal down there and buy your weekly supply of steak so that you can power your infinite bicycle and be all smug about it.

I understand what you’re trying to say, but the way you say it makes you look like a totally clueless look-at-me-I-care-about-the-environment sheep.

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