People Who Walk Slowly

When you’re in a rush and spread across the pavement is a line of people walking so mind-bendingly slowly it hurts. You juke left and can’t fit past the wall. You juke right, but daren’t risk the traffic to cut past them. It’s like being stuck in a purgatory of slowness, when you know you’re already ten minutes late, and it’s only getting steadily worse. People! If you’re going to walk, you have a choice: walk fast, efficiently and with haste from point A to point B or else, please, confine your paradigm of slowness to an extreme edge of the pavement, so at least those of us who aren’t stuck in our own faerie world of hippie slowness can get past and make it to where we’re going some time this century. Honestly, some of us have things to do today.