Being Fussed at for Table Manners

Okay, maybe I burp out loud, and I slurp my soup, and maybe I chew with my mouth open, and sometimes I’ll eat with my fingers. But it’s not like I’m gonna be Miss Manners. And my friends will say, “Why can’t you eat like a girl?!” Well, I never acted like one in the first place! So just don’t look when I chow down my plate of Alfredo, haters!