Exes Who Won’t Leave Me Alone

No, I do not want to “hook up” with you. I don’t care what you think of my new boyfriend. I don’t care that your DUI was for one drug and not another.

We broke up, we tried to be friends, it didn’t work out.

Leave me alone.

I don’t want to turn on my phone to find twelve texts from you telling me that you hate me and to stop ignoring you.

I don’t want to wake up to a phone call at 3 a.m. because you’re bored.

Stop trying to contact me about stupid, irrelevant things. Stop trying to talk to my friends about what I’m doing with my life—you’re no longer a part of it.

Thank you.

Goodbye.