I Hate My Life
Iâ€™m a thirteen year old girl and my parents just died a week ago in a car crash. I was in the back seat and I canâ€™t feel anything from my hip down and I feel like I shouldâ€™ve died too. I wish I had so I wouldnâ€™t have to go to my parentsâ€™ funeral today. All I have to ask is why didnâ€™t I die? I didnâ€™t want to live!
Iâ€™m so sorry for your loss. I know you must be tired of hearing that.
I lost my parents and my best friend in a car accident when I was fifteen. We were leaving a concert that my friend and I had performed in. We were laughing about something and then there was a lot of light and then it was done. A drunk driver hit us head on and somehow the car flipped.
My point is, you are not alone. I still ask that question that you are asking now. â€œWhy didnâ€™t I die too?â€ or â€œ It should have been me, not themâ€. Iâ€™m 20 now and I would still go back and gladly take their places.
It doesnâ€™t get easier. I wish it did. For a while, you might not be able to listen to music or talk or do anything at all. And thatâ€™s okay, donâ€™t ever let anybody tell you itâ€™s not. But you canâ€™t be like that forever.
What you are experiencing now is likely something called Survivors Guilt. My suggestion is that you go into therapy and talk about these things as much as possible. When you are ready. Siblings can also help, if youâ€™ve got any, but they probably wonâ€™t get it because they werenâ€™t there when it happened. The best you can do now is try to breathe, because nobody wants you to die.
Again, Iâ€™m so sorry for your loss.