Myself

I hate that I honestly don’t understand myself. I have a good boyfriend, he’s sweet, smart, caring, kind, funny and good looking, yet I can’t help but compare him to my ex-boyfriend. Why? I’m completely over my ex, or so I thought, but I can’t get him out of my mind. I hate that I have starve myself then binge and purge. I hate that I cut myself. I hate that whenever I have something good going for me, I sabotage myself. I hate myself because I’ve turned to drugs, drinking and suicide attempts since I was 13 (I am now turning 17). I hate myself because I know all these things are wrong and I shouldn’t do them but I can’t stop myself. I hate myself because I don’t want to.