When People Say Anorexia is Stupid
Yes, I am anorexic, no, it is not stupid. I canâ€™t help it, Iâ€™m terrified of gaining weight. You want to know why? Because I donâ€™t want to have that feeling of insecurity I had when I was ugly. I still feel ugly when I look on my mirror. Each pound I lose, the happier I get. Iâ€™m sick and tired of feeling weak and vulverable when I do eat. As bad as I absolutely need to gain weight, I canâ€™t. I just canâ€™t! I canâ€™t explain anything about it to anybody without them understandingâ€¦ I canâ€™t even explain as Iâ€™m typing this. I wish people wouldnâ€™t say â€œI understandâ€â€”you donâ€™t. Others who are in my similar position do understand, but you donâ€™t. I canâ€™t stand hearing my sister saying â€œYou need to eat more, this is ridiculousâ€ or, â€œYouâ€™re too skinny.â€ Donâ€™t tell me Iâ€™m skinny until I feel skinny enough. I canâ€™t do this. How many times do I have to say, â€œI canâ€™tâ€? Iâ€™m not that strong, healthy girl I used to be. Never in a million years would I have done this to my body and mind unless I felt absolutely awful and disgusted about myself. Iâ€™m sorry you donâ€™t understand us anorexics. But most of allâ€¦ Iâ€™m sorry you donâ€™t understand how difficult this lifestyle is for me and the many anorexics/bulimics out here in this world.