Being Fat

I’m sick of being the only fat one out of my friends. I’m not even that big, but all four of my best friends are like 80 pounds. I’ve thought about making myself throw up my food and I have done it a few times before but I don’t want to be bulimic so I have only been eating 400 calories a day. I know I shouldn’t care about my appearance, but its hard to be happy all the time and act like I don’t care, and being bipolar doesn’t make that any better.