“You can’t get a boyfriend.”

I was in the girls’ bathroom, minding my own business in a stall, when I heard a voice from the adjacent stall.

“Who’s in there?”

I told her my name.

“What grade are you in?”

I told her that, too.

“Are you fat?”

“No.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t need one.”

“Is it because you can’t get one?”

At that point I was about to rip the crap out of her. Sixth graders don’t need to date and the ones who do are all accepted into society, while I am not accepted by anyone. Why would I need a boyfriend? Do you think that if I wanted to ask someone out I would? No. Absolutely not. It’s always the popular people who date people and are accepted by everyone. I, however, am not suitable for that and I don’t want to be, anyway. Next thing you know second graders will be on eHarmony.