I’m moving far away from all my friends in three weeks, but I don’t care. Why? What’s wrong with me? For the past two months, I don’t care about things that would normally make me happy, and the same with things that would normally make me sad. Why, when I look in the mirror, do I only see the bad things about myself? Why won’t the knot in my throat go away? I don’t care if anyone reads this, because it made me realize, myself. And by the way, adults, parents, never ground your kid long enough that they actually have time to think about life. Thinking is the worst thing a child can do. Let them be stupid and reckless. And if they seem like they don’t care about anything, they really do want you to notice. They don’t want a long talk, but sometimes they just want you to hold them while they cry, and it’ll make everything better for a while. Although, sometimes, they need real help. No matter how much they say they don’t want it. And make it someone that can relate to them, and that they can relate to.
I live in a somewhat rich neighborhood, but my family is lower middle class. We are probably the poorest people in our neighborhood. We lucked out getting a house here, but we will be paying the mortgage for twenty years. I saved up money for a long time to buy this iPod Touch. We don’t have enough money to go on vacation even for a weekend, staying at a cheep hotel. All my friends have all sorts of money. My best friend is in a foreign country on a cruise. That’s her birthday present. My birthday presents have never been anywhere close to that, ever. We can’t afford it. Maybe I am just jealous, but I hate money.
Ever notice the preppy girls who scream each other’s names, hug, smile and giggle, then walk away… and do it again a few minutes later when they see each other again?
My best friend criticizes everyone about every little imperfection. A Victoria’s Secret model? Eww, a mole. Megan Fox? Gross, she’s ugly. Some popular kid at our school? Wow, she has a big nose, and she’s not really pretty, it’s just her makeup. Why does she have to put everyone else down? She doesn’t need to do that to feel better about herself.
I hate it when I am talking to someone and some busybody walks past and hears one sentence of what I’m saying and starts asking what, who, where, when, why, how? It’s so annoying, because it’s really none of their business and they didn’t even really hear what I was saying before they decided they needed to butt in.
Someone asked what my favorite band was, and I told them it was Paramore. “Paramore sucks! I hate them so much! I can’t believe you listen to that crap! I listen to My Chemical Romance.†So what I like is wrong and I’m supposed to just follow what you do? Opinions are biased points of views. No opinion is right or wrong. I don’t understand why everything I do is called “stupid.â€
Tonight I was coming upstairs from my basement to go to bed and as I was saying goodnight to my parents, my dad said “Pull your pants up! I don’t wanna see you trying to be ghetto!†and kept going on about how it’s improper to wear your pants so far below your underwear and it’s not cool to try to be gangster. Okay… I get that you don’t want me to look like a gangster, but seriously? My pants were maybe an inch below my underwear line at most, and I am, surprisingly, not trying to look like a gangster. He tells me that he doesn’t want to see any of my underwear, but he couldn’t! My shirt was covering whatever minuscule bit of underwear may have been showing.
I’m sure some people have friends they love, but my friends aren’t like that. I have very few, and they treat me all right most of the time but are only really nice when they want something from me. I can’t tell them how I feel about their behavior or else they’ll get mad and bully me and I’ll end up with no friends. I invite them to go places with me sometimes, but they never invite me to go with them anywhere. It’s not fair! Why can’t I have normal, caring friends?