Cracking Up in Dead Silence

Why is everything so much more funny when you aren’t allowed to laugh?

Rick Perry

Seriously? Gays are risking their lives away from their families too, why should they not be allowed to serve openly in the army? Just because you’re Christian doesn’t mean everyone has to be.

When I Say Something

But no one hears me…

…awkward.

Enormous, Painful, and Noticeable Zits

Everybody gets those small zits that go away in a couple of days. But if you’re like me, then you get those big sore zits that sit a foot deep in your skin and never go away. It’s nearly impossible to pop them because you cant even touch them without being in pain. And they are so wide and deep that you can point out the large mass on your face from 10 feet away. When you see the zit it resembles something as large as a fetus developing under your skin. You poke at it and attempt to pop it but it’s pretty much superglued deep within. It’s so disgusting knowing that a huge pocket of pus is stuck deep in your skin spreading bacteria and there is nothing you can do about it. No face wash helps it go away no matter how much you scrub the oozy beast. If you’re a girl, makeup doesn’t even cover it up. And if you currently have one of these zits, like I do, I wish you the best of luck to get it to go away. Only time will tell.

Wisdom Teeth

They hurt and having them removed hasn’t helped in the slightest. Why must it be so painful? And the pain meds only take the edge off they don’t get rid of the pain. Wisdom teeth are purposeless and worthless!

People Who Don’t Understand

I’m a vegetarian. I don’t expect people to become vegetarian too, but I just wish they would respect my choice without always saying “you are an idiot!” or “why do you do it? It’s a stupid thing!” or “you will not change the world!” This makes me very tired because it’s over an year from when I became vegetarian and from that moment I’ve had to tolerate people who insult me and my choice nearly everyday.

Flight Attendants

We were on our way home from another state and when we got to the airport the stupid flight attendant was just like “you’ve missed your flight, you have to pay eighty five dollars to get a new one.” But there was still like forty minutes left! Also they put a ton of makeup on and have a bun the size of a sharks poo on their stupid little heads.

Getting Water-Logged

I absolutely hate it when I’m in the shower or swimming for a long time and my fingers look so shriveled. I hate the feeling of it, too. I hate the feeling of touching paper or towels with water-logged fingers because it feels so weird! And it happens so easily. If I’m swimming for over 20 minutes, BAM! My fingers feel like raisins. And it stinks because I love to swim and I’m usually in the pool for over 3 hours. Is it just me or does being water-logged feel horrible?

When Adults Hit Kids/teenagers

I hate it when my freaking stupid “mom”ster hits me! It’s like those retarded adults think hitting someone is allowed! Didn’t they learn it in school? Or did they not go to school? They are stupid and need to go to elementry school again.

Coaches Who Get Mad At You For Being Sick

I’ve never missed a day of practice all season and you’re going to punish me for something I can’t control? Just calm down. I’ll be back on Monday.