I work at a place where employees come and go. My brother left for college. My sister always has mood swings. My friends keep moving away. And I’m just the same, and I always need to learn to deal with new situations constantly. I’m not used to it and I’m not ready for it. I wish I was stronger and could deal with this better.
My cousin’s an atheist. I may be a Christian, but I support my cousin and she has a right to make her own choices. I’ve never teased or made fun of her or argued with her because of her beliefs. Yet whenever she comes over, she says I’m an idiot for believing in fairy tales. Okay, maybe you think what I believe in isn’t logical. Maybe you think it’s stupid. But that doesn’t mean you have any right to tell me what to believe in. I respect you, and don’t think any less of you for having different beliefs. Yet whenever you come over, you’re belittling me just because I believe in God. Grow up and let me make my own decisions.
Some bridges are too high up. I mean, I know boats have to go under them, but some are just so far up they’re scary.
It’s not like I can help it! I have habits of biting my nails, playing with my bracelets, saying “like†a lot and sticking my tongue into my water bottle a bit. I barely even realize that I’m doing them, so I don’t appreciate it when you make fun of me for them. We all have little habits, so bug off.
I had the Family channel on for my nine year old cousin, who loves the Wizards of Waverly Place, and we were watching it when Phineas & Ferb came on. It was an episode about a sci-fi convention and they started singing about nerds—I’m not trying to diss this show; a lot of other shows on different channels do the same thing—and how a nerd likes sci-fi, wears glasses, has to use an asthma inhaler, is allergic to things, or has braces. My cousin looked at me laughed and said “you’re a huge nerd!†I laughed and said I was, because all of those things describe me, but I’m sick of it, of how skinny and tall automatically means beautiful, of how if you like Star Wars you’re a loser. Cheerleader, beautiful, book club, nerd, if you like to read, oh my god! How nerdy! I’m sick of the world. I know I’m my own person and sometimes I can brush it off, but I’m still hurt inside. Everybody wants to be skinny, and some people are starving themselves, and dying! Am I the only one sick of this?
So, I like this guy. When I started to like him, he was single. My friend knows how much I like him, and thought we’d be a good couple, so she was trying to slyly set us up. You know the feeling when you think something might happen, but don’t want to get your hopes up? And they still go up anyway? Well, that’s how I felt. Just yesterday, he started going out with someone. This girl probably knows him better than I do, and I like her, so I’m not annoyed at her. But, I just feel kind of… hollow? The fact he started dating another girl means that he definitely doesn’t like me, and probably never noticed me. So yup, I feel hollow. And we are all meeting up tomorrow, so it’s going to be awkward, and if they act all coupley, I don’t know how I’ll act.
One day I was hanging out with my boyfriend and we decided to go outside. We were sitting on a bench under the deck talking when his dad walked out on to the deck and told us to cut it out. What does he think we where doing?! Why do parents always have to assume that you’re doing something you shouldn’t be?
Well, another precious wish wasted. It’s was quite a ravishing one too! Now I have to wait another 12 hours to make another wish. What am I going to do until then? It’s not like I can wish on 11:17 and expect the wish to come true! It just sucks when I delegate myself to wish on 11:11 and I miss it. I feel like I’ve let myself down.
I’m having a little trouble believing that right now. My dog is at the vet and she might have to stay overnight. She’s only little and she hasn’t been eating, she’s had diarrhea, and she’s just not herself. She might have a blood problem, and they are doing all these tests. My dad has to pay $700 for it, and we don’t have the money, so he split it into two payments. We can barely afford it, and my little dog might have some serious problems. So if everything happens for a reason, what’s the reason for this?
I hate being someone I’m not to please my friends and family. I want to just scream “this isn’t the real me.â€